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Dating Dilemma: How to Live with a Cat Woman

By Wendy Diamond Updated: Dec 16, 2008
Wendy Diamond and Pasha
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From catnip to kitty litter, a man has to be knowledgeable and equipped to incorporate into his daily routine the requirements of his feline counterpart. He has to be aware of the feminine wiles in his regal cat-mosphere, and avoid cat-astrophe by catering to and comprehending them all. If his girlfriend, wife, or cat gently nudges him, does this mean she feels ignored and wants more attention? Since all cats love catnip, find the special nip that your woman craves. It might be chocolates, perfume, flowers, fancy feasts, or a romantic walk on the beach. To keep her in a happy mood, spoil her with her favorite treats!
The catnip connection
When you first meet the cat(s) of the woman you're dating, one sure way to win instant approval is to bring catnip. Catnip acts as a feel-good antidote for most cats and is found at pet stores everywhere. This small offering will work wonders in making a good first impression on the feline(s).
Women and their cats
But the effects do wear off, and your real intentions and personality will leave the lasting mark. The same holds true for the woman you're dating, living with, or married to. You can buy her as many gifts and tokens of affection as you want, but there's much truth to the old saying that "money can't buy you love" -- although it can help.
Men, understand that women are attracted to shiny, pretty things in small boxes and are truly thankful for gifts. But ultimately what they want is priceless: love, respect, devotion, friendship, appreciation, and honesty -- a soul mate who can go the distance of a lifetime.
Grooming gorgeous
Cats are clean creatures by nature and feel as good as they look. Some cats and women are outdoorsy, low-maintenance felines, while others are long-haired, indoor, high-maintenance creatures. It all depends on the unique personality traits of each breed, men!
“When living with a woman and her cat(s), you must get involved with their overall lifestyle.”
When living with a woman and her cat(s), you must get involved with their overall lifestyle.
Build your physically active cats a specially designed cat section in an open room. If your ladylove is high energy, sign her up at a gym, buy her a workout video, or create an exercise room in your home. Let's say the premier felines in your life are high-maintenance and prefer pampering and napping. Send your wife or girlfriend to a spa for a massage and skin-treatment session, or even better yet, send her off on a shopping spree. With just a little effort on your part, both felines will be smiling like Cheshire cats, feeling fine and relaxed, and purring at your feet.
One crowded bed
Cats are nocturnal creatures. Their ancestral genetic code was programmed to hunt vermin at night. When you're newly cohabitating with a woman and her cat(s), get ready for some restless nights, especially if you're a light sleeper -- and on full moons, when the hunt will be intensified. Your dream woman will also feel friskier and more playful when the moon is totally waxed. You might suggest that your girlfriend or wife's cat sleep outside your bedroom, but this might not be feasible if the cat has been sleeping on the bed since it was a kitten. If the meowing doesn't keep you up at night, then the scratching at the door to get back in the bedroom will! Some cats look for a warm place to rest, particularly when temperatures cool down.
Although napping during the day is part of a cat's schedule (resting up for the evening pursuit), more interaction and playing with your cat daily might tire your feline's ferociousness and quell the nighttime meanderings. And if that doesn't do the trick, then leave the bedroom door open at night so your cat(s) can leave at will, try using the command No, and/or just accept your fate and buy a bigger bed!
Amorous attention
A woman will let you know in her own way when she wants your attention, just like her cat counterpart. The trick here is that you might not know exactly when this will happen with your girlfriend or wife. A cat will meow, rub up against your leg, or butt heads when it needs a few extra strokes. The woman in your life will have her own special cat cry. Guys, your job is to be astute to both the subtle meows and blatantly obvious ploys for your affection, as each breed of woman is different.
One woman will call and email obsessively, while another will play hard-to-reach by refusing to answer her phone or emails, simply to incite your curiosity and lure you into her den. The bolder gal will verbally let you know in no uncertain terms that neglect is not her thing and she wants attention now! Another darling dame will shower you with sweet nothings and kind gestures to get you to acquiesce to her desires. Remember, men, the key to your united happiness is that women, like cats, are changeable, independent, and unpredictable, and it will be up to you to be able to read the signs when your woman wants some good old-fashioned loving!
Illustration by Marilena Perilli
How to Understand Women Through Their Cats
Wendy Diamond, author of "
How to Understand Women Through Their Cats," is founder and editorial director of animalfair.com (fairness to animals) magazine. She is also author of the book "What a Lucky Dog! How to Understand Men through Their Dogs." Wendy, who is single and dating, lives in New York with her canine companion, Lucky, a Maltese she rescued, and a rescue cat named Pasha.
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A Yahoo! Contributor
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A Yahoo! Contributor
Oh man...understanding a woman through her CATS!?!? Here&#39;s how I &#39;ve understood women and men through cats...if your woman is a cat person and you&#39;re not married yet, DON&#39;T. Cats are fickle, unloyal, will show affection only when given something first, and think of themselves first. Dogs are simple, loyal, will show affection simply because they like you around, and will run into a burning building to rescue you (well, except for a Maltese or Shih-Tsu or something, which are cats in furrier bodies LOL). My woman is a dog person...we&#39;re both loyal, faithful to each other, simple tastes in smart bodies, and love each other just because we like having the other around us. Understand you through your CAT!? How about TALKING instead of using your cat as a proxy? Dogs need little and give much...cats need much and give little. All of you cat lovers out there, PLEASE don&#39;t bother responding...I&#39;m not interested in the few anomalies out there, because the larger point is true. Women, if you&#39;re cat people...learn to love dogs. Men, if you&#39;re with a cat woman...leave NOW. If you don&#39;t, read this in 10 years and tell me I&#39;m wrong LOL What an asinine article.
A Yahoo! Contributor
Oh, and a couple of other things...are you mentally CHALLENGED!?!? Were you sipping merlot with your cat when you were writing this? Buy a woman a GYM MEMBERSHIP!?!? WHOA-HOA!!! If she doesn&#39;t knock you the heck out, then you may want to check her pulse (and her purse LOL). You DON&#39;T buy a woman a gym membership even if she looks like she should be in the Macy&#39;s Day Parade. Seriously - is the woman writing this REALLY a woman?????? And secondly - if a man has to guess and pick up on subtle nuance and implied innuendo in order to make his woman happy...he won&#39;t. If he does, he&#39;s probably a little TOO girly for you anyway...and probably likes cats too, so maybe that DOES work LOL I think you want the Marlboro Man&#39;s stronger, buffer cousin who has spent some time herding cattle on Brokeback Mountain and observing the flower arrangements and jewelry stores on Main Street in Tombstone. I know...you want the perfect man. We want the perfect woman. They do not exist - you make perfection by enjoying the person in a perfect manner. Keep your cats - I&#39;ll keep my woman that doesn&#39;t mess in such trite and disingenous games. Sheeeez.
A Yahoo! Contributor
As a final note...folks, remember that Wendy is SINGLE (and likely to stay that way) and DATING (probably a BUNCH). Guys like me - good, hardworking guys with brains and looks and a bit of our pleasant manliness showing - will date Mademoiselle Wendy once and then go &quot;whoooooooa, head case&quot; and not call her or her cats again EVER. The guys that DO call a second time are desperate in the extreme. Remember - women? She is SIIIIIINGLE. Guys? Yeah, she&#39;s single...for a VERY good reason!!!! :)
A Yahoo! Contributor
This whackjob doesn&#39;t have a CLUE what she&#39;s talking about. My cats used to sleep through the night (yes, I know they are technically &quot;nocturnal&quot;, nonetheless). She&#39;s just another bimbo with a column, trying to tell GUYS how to be guys.
A Yahoo! Contributor
Wow...some people on here are calling the Author a head case? I hardly think so. I tend to wonder more about those of you that must use profanity that has to be covered up with symbols to even attempt to make their point. I think the article was rather cute. It is a FACT that men who take the time to understand a woman&#39;s pets is a man who takes time to understand the woman. This makes for a far more attractive man to ANY woman. No woman worth your future likes a profane and mouthy low class jerk. The author never spent a second of her time telling &quot;GUYS HOW TO BE GUYS&quot;... she merely offered some insight on cat-loving women to men who might happen to have intelligence and inexperience with the animals , therefore the need for the advice.
A Yahoo! Contributor
reading her cats doesnt mean u r reading the girl... nevertheless girls would love the guy to respect her love towards cats.. ;)
A Yahoo! Contributor
&#39 you are an idiot. Any human who sits around an spends one second of their thought (and it doesn&#39;t look like you have much to spare) on how much you dislike an entire species of animals, YOU ARE A LOSER!!!! Good luck in your miserable, hate filled life.
A Yahoo! Contributor
Women MUST change the litter box every day or risk getting toxoplasmosis, a potentially serious health problem. Fresh catnip (a member of the mint family) easy to grow and makes a great tea for humans. Usually does not work on kittens or purebred Siamese, but makes most cats amusingly daffy. The anthropomorphism is too big a stretch for some in this audience, perhaps adolescent females, to them this would be &quot;cute&quot; and not taken literally, as seems to be the case. BTW If both you and she have dogs and they dont get along, count that one out! Also, if her dog or cat hates you, bites you etc, stop wasting your time and end it. Keep your fingers warm (typing)
A Yahoo! Contributor
I grew up in a cat household. Some of what the author says is very spot-on, yet every cat is different. I do &quot;get&quot; the article though. If my future wife keeps a cat, I have no problem with it since I can read through most cats and agree they have parallels to their owner&#39;s personality, especially if she owns but one.
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