This gets much trickier in a marriage or very longterm relationship because it doesn't become simply about revealing "embarassing" secrets, it moves into the realm of things like, say, sitting in a therapist office with your spouse who suddenly blurts out something intensely personal that you weren't ready to talk about yet. Or how about the ob/gyn's office and you're pregnant and trying to quit smoking but you can't let go of those two cigarettes a day and your partner confesses your secret for you? I say this is "tricky" because the argument ALWAYS used when the central argument erupts is that it was harmful to keep those things private. There is some truth in that but more importantly, there's no argument you can really use against it, even when you point out that there's a huge difference between two cigarettes a day and shooting heroin. It very often takes a long, long time for partners to develop the type of mutual respect that allows the other to have a few basically benign secrets that the rest of the world doesn't need to know unless he or she chooses to reveal them...

This article is really helpful. You should never "assume" anything about your partner... anything. Who here wants to cause harm to their love one? specially on purpose? NO ONE. so assuming the worse or getting offended over something that, yes, was embarrasing but he/she didn't mean to hurt you, then there is no point in arguing. DO confront them about it calmly and let them know you didnt like it. This article is right, if you attack your partner, it will make it only worse ps: i didnt see anything about signing an agreement or constant reminder or whatnot

Often times, you just have to lighten up, and realize, nobody cares about the so-called indiscretion but you. And maybe, if you are too embarrassed to admit it, you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. For example, you've got a drawerful of porn. Who doesn't? But you watch it all the time? That's a problem, that continues because those close to you keep it a secret. Tell the world, and maybe the harmful behavior will change.

The old adage that "Marriage is made in Heaven" LOL, also applies to Thunder and lightening. Life at times is like entering a Rodeo, Horses and Bulls buck and try to throw you off, and may even try to stomp you. At the very least you get dirty. But the winner always is the one who "Keeps on Truckin`". Human relationships are many times somewhat similiar, frought with misunderstandings, even when they speak the same Language. and nobody like to have their partner blabbing on them, or for that matter useing mind control tricks on them.

I think the suggestions are valuable ones. It's important in any relationship to set boundaries. These same kind of incidences can happen among friends as well as family members. Many times it is a case of insecurities, jealousy or thoughtlessness. If a boundary is set with the offender and it is understood that crossing that line is not tolerated a healthier relationship can be established. If the offender doesn't get it they will have to suffer the consequence which can mean limited exposure to that person.

Worse than an affair? Not quite, but close. If you're not married, dump her/him. A person with no boundaries is a problem in lots of other ways, too, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. And this is done with full knowledge of boundaries, but out of spite, even worse.

Yes, this happens to me alot. My other half can not get it thru her head. And at times because she does this I will just start the attack right back doing it on purpose. She hates it then. She thinks that I should n't have said that certain something to anyone. But it is different when she does it, because it was her that said it. Well, now I know not to tell her anything at all. Besides she thinks the only conversation that matters anyway is hers. Now she wonders why I don't have very many one - on - one conversations with her. She only hears the parts she wants to anyway. I hate it when I can't share what I feel is important to me with her. Even if it is just some meaningless conversation

People are low class and stupid these days...you should automatically know that you shouldnt air you partners biz...would you want people to know about yours well maybe those folk do & dont have self respect and think of their partner the same. Here's a hint...if she or he says it to you alone then that means keep it to yourself unless they bring it out & even then act as if you dont know anything about it unless she or he asks of your opinion or two cents & not someone else. have some pride

I think the biggest problem is that getting angry over some perceived "revelation" is a control mechanism, and blown out of proportion. One partner wants to control the other, and therefore reserves the right to get angry about perceived slights without the acknowedgement that the other partner would never deliberately hurt the other in a loving relationship.

I once had a girlfriend that told her two sisters and her nieces everything that happened between us, every little detail. When I told her that I felt like some things were private, just between us, she said that she shared everything with her family. Notice that I said "once had".