There are four common "deadly dating patterns" that single women struggle with: Crumbs, Chase Me, Not Perfect-I'll Pass, and Safety Net.

The "Sex and the City" (movie release on May 30) characters, Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, are good examples of women who dealt with these self-sabotaging patterns. The characters transformed their unique patterns in order to develop love relationships. Each deadly dating pattern reflects specific love relationship challenges and triumphs that many single women face. Here are the four types -- including related advice to overcome obstacles that are unique to each one:

1. Accepting seductive and wonderful treatment from a guy who is ultimately out of reach and afraid of commitment (Mr. Big)

2. Fantasizing about and falling for men who put her second, behind work or other women (the Russian)

3. Cheating on a man who really loved her (Aidan), pushing him away

Deeper Dynamic: Believing that you don't deserve a relationship in which you come first.

The Crumbs Advice: Give up the crumbs and take a seat at the banquet table. First, break up with the guys that are only giving you crumbs. Then make a rule: I only date men who are (a) available and (b) crazy about me (for real). Try this on for size, even if it means spending time with guys who "aren't good enough" but who treat you like royalty.

1. Endlessly claiming she did not really want to have a relationship

2. Leaving lovers and moving on for no apparent reason

3. Fearing intimacy (Smith holding her hand in public!)and commitment

Deeper Dynamic: A desperate need to be claimed, almost against your will, (As Smith successfully did with Samantha in the end.)

The Chase Me Advice: Unless he's a real jerk, no testiness or running off! Instead, take a chance -- hang in there and be real with him.

1. Fussy and a perfectionist

2. Almost passed on Harry Goldenblatt, a man who was good husband material but balding and unpolished. (refused to go to beach party with him unless he had his back waxed)

3. Judgmental and constricted about sexuality

Deeper Dynamic: A self-critical nature where you judge anyone who would want you as "not good enough."

The Not Perfect - I'll Pass Advice: Listen to the voice in your head that is hypercritical of you, then you won't be projecting so much. If you start feeling turned off when he spills his coffee, say to yourself, I'm being picky and critical in some way of myself, just like my mother (or father) is. Even though this feels strange, it will change the way you look at men.

1. Afraid of being alone and pessimistic about her odds of meeting a great guy

2. Dating guys she feels are beneath her

3. Attracted to a man only if other women are interested in him or he's left her (Steve)

Deeper Dynamic: Low self-esteem and a sense that you can't compete with other women for a really great successful guy.

The Safety Net Advice: Either leave or help this guy grow into someone you can fall for!

If you see yourself in these patterns, congratulations. Insight is the first step to freeing yourself to create the relationship you want! You can also take a special quiz and find out which "Sex and the City" pattern you may have at MyDatingPatterns.com.