Yahoo! Personals
Three Simple Dating Rules: Set the Right Expectations to Find Mr./Ms. Right

By Karen Sherman, Ph.D. Updated: Aug 1, 2008
Karen Sherman
Wouldn't it be great if fairy tales came true? Most of us still want and expect to find our Mr. or Ms. Right. The good news is, finding a partner who is perfect for you is a real-life possibility -- and something you can turn into a probability by resetting your expectations. Remembering three simple rules will help you understand the person you are dating, manage your expectations and prevent ugly surprises.
1. Everything you want to know about a person is there for you to see right from the beginning. By being observant,
“You can realize someone's true nature from the very start”
You can realize someone's true nature from the very start. Let's say the person you are dating throws their jacket on the chair when they come into your apartment. As much as that may annoy you, you must understand that is who they are. They are not going to become a neat freak later on. As a matter of fact, the more relaxed they grow to be, the more likely they are to take liberty in throwing their clothes around -- expect to find scattered socks, shoes, even underwear!
2. You cannot change anybody. Try as you might, you can't change anyone. You can, of course, let the person know you are unhappy with the sloppiness, but you cannot expect him or her to change. What you can change is your reaction to their behavior. By seeing someone for who they are and understanding that you cannot change them, you can recognize early on if someone is an appropriate match.
3. There is an "upside" and a "downside" to every trait. You may realize that even though your Mr. Right is a slob, it doesn't mean that you must cast off your otherwise Prince Charming as a toad. Think about the other side to your potential partner's sloppiness. Maybe his carefree attitude towards the proper place of a coat is indicative of his flexible and relaxed nature -- perhaps a trait that is a nice counterbalance to your tendency to get a bit uptight.
More Karen Sherman
Marriage Magic!
Karen Sherman, Ph.D., a specialist in relationships for more than 20 years is the author of "
Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life" and co-author of "Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last." She is on the Web at ChoiceRelationships.com and drkarensherman.com. Subscribe to her free newsletter.
Dating Articles  |  Success Stories  |  Browse By Location  |  5-Star Safety  |  Gift Subscription  |  Site Map
Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.  |  Legal  |  Jobs  |  Help
NOTICE: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.