Dating Tips -- Yahoo! Personals

When to Discuss the "M" Word

By Sheila Ellison Answering your questions about dating for single parents and after divorce Updated: Oct 2, 2008

At what point in dating someone should you tell them whether you would like to get remarried? I always think marriage talk could scare someone away, but it's important to be honest about what you want, right? -- Karen K., 55, Rutherford, New Jersey

Karen, just because you say you would like to remarry, it doesn't mean you want to marry the person you're dating.

I agree with you that honesty is the best policy.

I agree with you that honesty is the best policy. However, you may also want to use your first date with a person to figure out if you have other interests in common and if you feel comfortable enough to be yourself. Most adults know within a date or two if a person is compatible with them. If you keep seeing each other after date two, that may be a good time to mention that one of your goals is to be remarried. If your date asks you outright if you hope to get remarried, tell the truth.

Sheila Ellison is the author of "The Courage to Love Again: Creating Happy, Healthy Relationships After Divorce," "The Courage to Be a Single Mother: Becoming Whole Again After Divorce," "How Does She Do It? 101 Life Lessons from One Mother to Another," and "If Women Ruled the World" as well as six bestselling parenting books. She is the founder of SingleMomsConnect.com, an organization that connects single mothers in a one-to-one friendship that offers practical, emotional, and physical support as each woman rebuilds her life. She has appeared on "Oprah," NBC's "Later Today, and "The Early Show" on CBS. Her web site is CompleteMom.com.