Skin Deep: What Happens When The Tattoo Outlasts The Relationship?
By Jason Ryan Dorsey
Special to Yahoo! Personals
Updated: Oct 27, 2008
Wise people say that true beauty is more than skin deep. I agree. However, as a guy, I must confess that being physically attracted to a woman does make it easier to stick around and uncover her true beauty.
This is why a recent dinner with friends caused me to take a new look at the skin-deep-beauty theory. My guy friend -- we'll call him Booker -- recently became engaged to a beautiful lady whom we'll call Kate. Both Booker and Kate are 30-year-old professionals. This dinner was my and my wife's first chance to meet Kate.
Tattoo talesOur dinner was going smoothly until Kate mentioned how she wished Booker would do something about his tattoo before they got married.
Booker had never mentioned he had a tattoo
Booker had never mentioned he had a tattoo. And until that moment I had never seen him embarrassed.
As a supportive male friend I pounced on this golden opportunity, "What tat...?" But before I could finish, he said to Kate, "I can't believe you would bring that up!" Now he had the whole table's full attention.
Kate said, "Go on. Tell them about Sara." Confused, I asked Booker, "Who is Sara?" Before he could reply, Kate answered for him. "Sara is the name tattooed just below his front waistline. It's the name I get to look at whenever he gets naked."
I thought my wife was going to fall out of her chair. Instead she said, "Oh my god! You have a tattoo of an ex-girlfriend's name above your privates! You have to get that fixed!" "Exactly," Kate added for emphasis.
I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to cry. The idea of my friend Booker, who always appeared a little conservative, having a tattoo of an ex-girlfriend's name in his most private area was just too much. Booker tried to explain, "
Well, you see, I was in New Orleans and I had been drinking and...
Well, you see, I was in New Orleans and I had been drinking and..." That excuse might have worked before, but as an engaged man he was going to have to pay the price to get "Sara" fixed.
As I watched Booker go from confident, to embarrassed, to defensive, to almost proud, I made a few decisions about combining tattoos and relationships:
- If your significant other asks you to tattoo their name above your privates, get out of the relationship! Either they have some serious insecurity issues or you are going to be repeatedly explaining who "Sara" is at the most inconvenient times.
- If your significant other insists that you tattoo their name above your privates, then you demand they do the same. This way they have as much "skin in the game" as you do -- especially if your name is longer than theirs.
- If you absolutely have to tattoo your significant other's name above your privates, be sure it's a name you can turn into another word or slogan. I tried to help Booker solve his "Sara" dilemma by adding and subtracting letters. The best I could come up with: Sarandipity.
I figured if Booker could have girlfriends with "Sara" tattooed above his crotch, just imagine how many women he could attract with an even longer and misspelled word.
(c)2007 Jason Ryan Dorsey. All rights reserved.
