Living together is a big deal -- if it doesn't work out you can't just pick up and leave. You have to hire movers! And that's not even taking into account the emotions involved in a breakup or split where you've been living together. So do some homework before you commit to cohabiting.

Before making any major life-changing dating decisions, you must first complete some deep soul searching to make sure that there aren't any regrets later on in life. If you have children, you've got to be even more cautious by fully understanding your shacking-up reasoning for both you and your children.

Reason 1: You truly want to get married to this man -- the whole shebang with the ring, the wedding, and the thank you notes.

In this case: Don't move in with him until you're engaged, and it's close to the wedding date. Why? Because you want to show your children that you have respect for yourself, for him, for marriage, for family, and that there is structure in life.

Reason 2: You need male company. Yes, it's the intimacy, but it's also being able to "decompress" with a grownup at the end of the day over a glass of wine or dinner.

In this case: Move in with him after it's a "committed" relationship. You've dated exclusively for at least a year. You have a deal about monogamy. For whatever reason, you're not the marrying types. Why? Marriage isn't for everyone, and we live in a country where you are allowed to express your love for someone, their children, and yourself in many ways. Living together is one of them. A good tip is to keep a family therapist in the loop so that communication is facilitated, and the children's best interests are overseen by a professional.

Reason 3: You're ecstatic about a new guy you are seeing, but your young kids really haven't gotten to know him yet.

In this case: Don't move in with him. Living with a man to whom you are not married, when you're raising offspring, can be irresponsible and emotionally harmful to your children. Before you decide to share living space with this great guy, you must consider all the relationships involved in your decision.

Reason 4: Financial. You're paying rent, he's paying rent. Why not cut down on the rent?

In this case: Move in with him if certain conditions are present. Your fairy godmother may tell you that money is never a good reason to make an emotional or familial connection. Being a single mother in the U.S., however, is a largely unsupported (financially, legally, emotionally, socially, and every other which way) lifestyle. In this difficult situation, although it isn't traditionally accepted, it may be better for the children to have mom less stressed and enjoying the company of a reliable and loving man she's loved a long time than living by principles that don't pay for child care. But make sure that the children's best interests are first and foremost, and be honest with them. Don't lead them to believe that this is Mr. Right. Explain that you all love each other, and this will make life easier, and make mom happier and more available for happy homework help, more family nights without stress, etc. Kids are extremely intuitive and they will "get it."

Of course, never move in with anyone who is in any way abusive, has a history of any kind of abuse, or presses any buttons for intuitive flashing yellows. That said, this can be a wonderful situation, and often love grows on ground well tilled.

And finally, who over the age of 30 can forget the famous scene in "When Harry Met Sally" when Carrie Fisher's character moves in with her mate and makes him get rid of his wagon-wheel coffee table?

As people marry at older ages, they bring with them emotional baggage -- and physical baggage! Anyone who marries over age 30 or 40 has "stuff" to accommodate. Sometimes that stuff is a few boxes of books and some clothes, but more than likely it's two sets of living room furniture, two beds, two sets of linens, two sets of kitchen supplies -- and more importantly, two sets of styles! Furnishings and objects filled with meaning and sentiment to one person might strike a new mate as candidates for the dump or the Goodwill, which leads into my tips for working this out in peace.

1. Humor and the big picture. Keeping a sense of humor when deciding what stays and goes is key. Remember, you don't want to make a piece of furniture -- or even two or three -- a deal breaker in the relationship. Being able to laugh and keep the big picture in mind will help a lot in accepting his giant television with nine different remote controls -- each of which performs 50 different functions -- and getting him to let you keep the antique chairs that look better than they feel.

2. Bend a little. Compromise is important. Test your deal-making skills and think outside the box! Agree to keep his lime green recliner for 18 months, at which point you both go buy one together and give the old one to a charity. Agree to keep your dishes and donate his in exchange for going on his heli-skiing trip with him and his manner-less friends for three years in a row as an out-of-the-box deal.

3. Nuclear options. If you can't agree, and it's going to be a rocky road, agree to disagree and get rid of everything. Hold a giant garage sale or tag sale at both your places on two consecutive weekends or on the same weekend if you live nearby. You can even hire a company to hold the sale for you if you're too busy or too emotionally attached to your things. Use all the money to start a "start over" fund and buy new stuff.