Search Dating Articles: Search  
Meet Someone New Dating, butterflies, romance... it all happens here.
I’m a
Seeking a
Age
to
Location
Find My Match   Advanced Search
GET STARTED
Create Profile Create Your
Personals Profile
Let the person you are looking for find you! Creating a profile is free, so get started now. Create a Profile  
DATING TIPS
The 7 Biggest Misuses of Texting to Avoid in Dating

By David Wygant Updated: May 11, 2008
David Wygant
RATING THIS ARTICLE
Average (9 votes) stars Rate it: Sign in to rate!
For those of you who use text messaging as a form of communication with someone you're dating, whether you have a BlackBerry or an Apple iPhone, text messaging is the most abused and misinterpreted form of communication out there.
There are some things for which text messaging is great. It's great for confirming things ("See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe's Restaurant.") It's great as a good night kiss ("Did you get home safely?"). It's great to reconfirm things ("What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.") It's great for when you want to lob in a quick message to someone when they can't talk on the phone ("Can't wait to see you tonight.")
Texting is all about short conversations, and can be useful and fun in the dating context. Texting used in certain other ways, however, gets ugly within the dating context -- and can really get you into trouble. Some of these uses should be avoided because they can cause unintended misunderstandings, while others are simply bad manners or outright rude!
So, here are seven of the biggest misuses of texting that you should avoid in the dating context:
1. Save the Jokes. One drawback of texting (as with any written form of communication) is that it is sometimes difficult to convey the tone of what you write. Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is a joke, and they don't read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back and give you the opportunity to straighten out the misunderstanding. So if you want to tell someone you're dating a joke, it's best to save it and tell it to them in person.
2. Texting is Not Intended to Cancel a Date. If you don't want to see somebody again, you need to call them and cancel the plans.
“Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not.”
Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them again or not. Texting is not an excuse to be rude. Be a grown-up and pick up the phone.
3. Don't Ask Someone Out via Text Message. Women especially can't stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I've spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. They all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you're interested then be a man and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they will always prefer if you call them.
4. Avoid the 'Morning After' Text. If you had a great date with someone the night before, don't text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There's no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don't want to look over-anxious.
5. Keep the Texting to a Minimum. Once you've texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation. You will not discover whether you share a true connection with someone by conversing with them via text message. Also, as two adults, you need to have an actual voice-to-voice conversation. So go ahead and exchange a few texts, but then get yourself on the phone!
6. You May Not Get an Answer. Just because you texted someone, doesn't mean they're going to respond. This is another issue with using text messaging as your main communication method -- especially in the dating context. You're texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don't respond. They may have gotten on the phone. They may have fallen asleep. They may have gone into a meeting. Because texting is so impersonal, though, you don't know what happened to them.
7. You Are Left Wondering. Let's say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and... now it's Friday and they still haven't texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping a text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in... or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven't heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. You never know what they're response is going to be. Most of the time you're going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you're going to get your answer. That's what dating is all about... getting answers. Plus, you won't drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.
There's a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of the seven reasons above will help you navigate the fun side of texting in dating, while helping you avoid the bad side of texting in dating.
Texting is a great way have a little verbal flirting to stay connected in someone's life. It's not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you're hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact your provider and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!
By the way, if you have any other text do's and don'ts, I'll be sitting by my BlackBerry... so feel free to text me.
More David Wygant
Leave a comment COMMENTS12 COMMENTS
1-10 of 12 First | < Prev | Next > | Last
A Yahoo! Contributor
and PLEASE do not substitute text for phone or in-person...if you don&#39;t want to see a person that much, break up with them!!!
A Yahoo! Contributor
Don&#39;t break up with somoeone in a text message...ever
A Yahoo! Contributor
I made the mistake of breaking someone&#39;s heart via text messages... oh well.
A Yahoo! Contributor
a
A Yahoo! Contributor
This is such a great article! Finally, someone has the balls to call out people who feel texting is exempt from general rules of courtesy, manners and ... just plain common sense! It&#39;s so funny the things people will do via text that they would never be brave enough to do to someone to their face ... In fact that&#39;s probably a good test of whether something is a good idea to do via text messaging :) Bravo David on telling it like it is!!!
No Photo
Texting is GREAT for booty calls! No awkward phone call if you have something else going on. More on modern dating (online dating, friends with benefits, hookups, booty calls) in my blog dadshouseblog.com
No Photo
Somtimes it take hours or days ( if ever ) for a text to be delivered, especially if your on a different carrier. Reliabiliy is a weak spot for texting, even dropping words. I have had messages such as &quot;Cant wait to see you tonight&quot; show up as &quot;Cant see you tonight&quot;. The only time I send text messages is if something is unimportant and it really doesn&#39;t matter if the person gets it. If I expect a response to a text, and don&#39;t get one in 30 minutes, I call to verify they recieved it. Why not just call in the first place!
A Yahoo! Contributor
I find text messages to be a horrible way to communicate. It allows unemotional statements to fly through and endings to be impersonal. Whenever possible, CALL. Or if (s)he may be busy, text to see if you can call. Voices are so much more fun.
A Yahoo! Contributor
I find that men are the ultimate abusers of text messaging...what ever happened to a conversation over the phone - doesn&#39;t seem to exist anymore... very sad.
A Yahoo! Contributor
Its a great article and I agreed! Just a text away is a big NO! NO! Saying things personally or give a call is a very good way in a conversation..
1-10 of 12 First | < Prev | Next > | Last
imageLEAVE A COMMENT

You must sign in to leave a comment

Dating Articles  |  Success Stories  |  Browse By Location  |  5-Star Safety  |  Gift Subscription  |  Site Map
Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.  |  Legal  |  Jobs  |  Help
NOTICE: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.