I can completely relate on not trusting men, in the past month my trust was tested after a year a half into the relationship I got a call from my boyfriend telling me that he was tempted and spent the night at some random girls house then went on to decribe how attractive she was he also added that nothin happened because he loved me too much to let anything happen. I am still in the relationship and let me tell you ladies it is not easy!!!

The only reason a goes strays is to get what he doesn't have in his relationship. Women tend to think it is for sex but that is rarer than you believe. Sex with someone else iseither good,in which case you will want to change partners or not good and if so why bother. In either case straying is going to be not woth it unless what you are missing is important. A few minutes of excitement ren't enough.

I was in a marriage that was over 10 years old, I thought we had love and above all trust. I was the type to wife who comptely trusted my husband and allowed him to have all the freedom possible (go out with his freinds, fishing with the guys, respected his career decisions), he went to school while I took care of business at home with our two children and also worked full time. I was not controling, and encouraged him to pursue his own interests. My family loved him, and unfortunately my in-laws did not care for me and made my life a living hell--but through it all, I was a loyal and faithful wife. The day I found out found out he had been unfaithful and was having a relationship with another woman, was the day my marriage died. IT was like being in a fatal car accident. We stayed together for about 3 years, "trying to put it all back together" "for the sake of the kids"...I just couldn't get passed it and I finally filed for divorced. He showed great remorse, but it was to late. Being unfaithful does destroys lives--I wished more people thought about the consequences. Years ago Toby Keith wrote this song called "Who is that Man living my Life"....well in my case its true. My ex husband gets to see me and our daughters living our lives with a new man EVERY day. I'm sure there is much regret there. Some times the "grass isn't greeener on ther other side".

How to trust again...hot topic! After divorce I tried trusting again: first guy turned out to be abusive after 2mths,sold my house,changed ph.no,moved to unknown adr.2nd guy loving & caring,but secret alcoholic(took me 10mths to figure out),chucked him out,3rd guy wanted a taxi for his children and a higher lifestyle on my account,chucked him out.Now 9 yrs after divorce I'm in a relationship with a great guy 2yrs now. He's 10 yrs younger, hardworking, caring,wants to marry.Me:so afraid: even went to work in another country f 6mths to test his commitment:he still didn't cheat & still wants to marry me: conclusion: he's the one. My advice: don't be in a hurry,don't be needy, live your own life, be clear on what you want in life and what he wants out of life and if you can give each-other that. If that 'gels' well, then take a deep breath and go for it! If not...well, life is too short to make each-other miserable,so be honest and call it a day before you hurt each-other. Single life isn't always enjoyable, but is sure has it's good points too:you get to know yourself better, and to appreciate others more. Value your friends and heed their advice and remember: IF THEY AND YOUR FAMILY DON'T LIKE YOUR GUY,OR HIS DON'T LIKE YOU, THERE IS PROBABLY SOMETHING WRONG THAT YOU DON'T SEE.

To me it is not about the physical act of cheating but the dishonesty.I love my current girlfriend ,see has never lied to me.I don't mind sex with other men she's comming home to me.I tell her of other women it's all about honesty.I could not be with a woman I could not trust!We are planing to get married in october.She is the best.

i dont know but i just cant trust men..maybe bec what i see in other ppls relationship i take it as alessonfor me...maybe its another reasn why i never been in serious relationship coz when i see that they're not serious i step out or give limitation on the feelings i would have for them.just guarding myself for heartache..men just want sex and im not that type so they walked out but when im try to take a risk hoping that it will work out this time.he's not satisfied and still being unfaithfull..dont understand it!

It is funny that the women on this site say that they can not trust men,lol.I will tell you that my ex-wife cheated on me with atleast three different men.Is that ok?After that,she let one of her boyfriends in my house while I was at work.He only stole about $8,000 worth of stereo,tv & dvd equipment.She lied to me all the time,atleast 99% of what came out of her mouth was lies.I just don't know if women can be trusted anymore.It take alot of courage to tell someone the truth.The truth of the matter,is that there are just as many bad women out in the world as there are men.It comes down to a person's character & how they were raised.If you are only interested in a guy because of his looks,well that is shallow.Men can see right through that & will not stick around too long because of wisdom.I wonder what happens when the guy gains weight or is looks are gone?To the person above,I think you have never been in a serious relationship because you are afraid of getting hurt.It takes alot of courage to love.You have to give love to recieve love.Most people only seem to care about themselves these days or care about what is three feet in front of them.That is why nobody cares about that person.To the guy above,If you let your girlfriend cheat on you & you put up with it.Well,I just don't see how you have respect for yourself.I have too much respect for myself to put up with a woman cheating on me.If tthe person cheats on you,then they do not love you.They want to see if you will put up with them cheating on you.To the other person above,it is not just a little thing to have sex.If the person cheats,which you have probably cheated on most of your partners judging by your attitude.If they person cheats,then they are dishonest.

It seems the level of distrust depends on the level of infidelity. I was married almost 18yrs when I found out my spouse had become internet porn addicted then had taken it many steps beyond. My spouses self-employment allowed much travel. The sexual partners numbered over fifty (of the ones I learned about) over the course of the last five years of the marriage. I was devastated on many levels way beyond the infidelity, truthfulness and honesty issues. It was the level of danger I and the children were placed into such as the health issues, stalkers, financial loss, how long it had been going on, and you get the meaning. Depending on how severe your distrust is may very well indicate how long it could take you to revive and be able to move into beginning a relationship. Take stock of the level of distrust, how it came about, and where you are in the healing process currently and try to determine your own guideline of where you want to be in on each successive timeframe, such as in 1 year then 2years and so on. But most importantly is to take your time. Socialize and/or volunteer and develop friendships that will help fill the void until you begin to feel you are ready. You will know you are ready when suddenly you "notice" someone in a new or maybe even an exciting feeling. Best to you!

I think it *might* be an incorrect assumption on anyone's part to say that "men are untrust worthy" or "women are untrustworthy"....we need to strive, as difficult as it may be at times...to treat every person in our lives as an individual. We need to let past experiences stay in the past and not to color our new relationships. I know this is difficult after being hurt...but if we let what "Sally" did 2 years ago influence our opinion of our new relationship with "Donna'....are we giving "Donna" our best efforts? Every one deserves our best efforts..until they prove otherwise on their own.

I can totally relate with not knowing if you can ever trust again. My heart hurts everyday because of my ex-husbands infidelity. He was a police officer who had an affair with one of the dispatchers. I have 4 children. Two of them are two year old twins. My whole world feels like it is spinning out of control. I am back in school and working towards my Masters degree in Speech pathology. My children and having this goal is the only thing keeping me going. I just pray that one day I will be able to trust again and be happy.