I agree with Lynelle. Coming from a female stand point. How many men stick together and share bedroom secrets. Keeping it quiet not only improves their games, but supports this being done to us women. Yeah, you may lose a friend, but she didn't sound like she was wanting your friendship. Heck, I wouldn't either. The past can only stay in the past if you leave it there. Guaranteed, you will not be able to keep your mouth shut. Not if you care about her. If you don't keep your mouth shut then you risk losing her as a friend, but you were her friend. And that you can hold on to. Stick together. Tell her before she makes a big mistake marries this guy, finds out and this little secret, which RUINS her marriage. Which is MORE painful. Especially if children become involved. Your friend deserves a faithful mate. And though it happened in the past, he's not showing her that he plans on being trustworthy. None the less, what ever you decide, you will live with the weight of it. Good or bad.

I think that everyone has possibly missed the boat in presuming that "the one" had not had a life-changing event himself, and felt that revelation of his past would ruin his future. I wold have said, though, if I were him, that things had changed while asking her not to out him. I do not think that you need to reveal all of your past if it does not reflect who you are now, unless not revealing the past would be harmful to the present relationship. He certainly had nothing to gain in the revelation, nor did anyone else, so I think he should have explained his motives to his old flame, and, in a fair turnabout, he would never talk about their past relationship with his new girlfriend to protect the old girlfriend.

HI,I don't think you should tell your friend what if their relationship doesn't work and you lose your friend behind something that happen in the past. Wait a while and see if their relationship grows then decide.

Absolutely not. I agree with Steve on this. These two individuals need to take this information TO THEIR GRAVES! What happened between "Wild Woman" and "New Guy" is in the past and NEEDS to stay there. That thing they had has nothing to do with Wild Woman's friend... it happened before New Guy knew her. There's no point in confessing. What will it help? Nothing. Oh, it might relieve Wild Woman's conscience a little, but I guarantee she'll lose her best friend again for sure and that would be worse and as far as New Guy... he'll be no more. With this confession, everyone loses, everyone gets hurt indefinitely. Take it from someone who's been there, done that.

I was in a situation such as this, and I felt that because my friend and I were indeed best friends, that I should tell her what went on between myself and her new guy. Well, that was indeed a bad idea! She stopped talking to me, they got married, then divorced, because he was not the "one". So, had I kept my secret, a secret, I would still have my friend. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, sometimes it's best to leave them where they lay!

NO NO NO... I so do NOT agree with Lynelle. Do NOT tell your friend... if you do, that will only cause pain in her life, and possibly his. Do not make this about YOU. This isn't about YOU, nor YOUR feelings. This is about how SHE is happy. Basically, it's not that you want to HELP your friend, but hurt her because she's getting something YOU have had. How very selfish... just let the two of them be happy. Stay OUT of it.

well, I see it very clearly. Your friend surely is not so naive to think that she's the first woman in this guy's life. However, she doesnt want to know the details either, would you?We all have a past, and this is something that belongs to us only. If he doesnt want to share his past with his girlfriend, why should you disclose it? Specially if it was totally unimportant. It would be very selfish of you to ruin a prospective relationship only to appease your conscience. It was only a fling. Does he have to pay for it his whole life? Leave them alone.

TELL her because the fact that HE PRETENDED not to of known you only reveals his SCANKENESS he is not an honest man for your friend! If you also dont tell her then he reveals it later she will think you were not trustworthy now. Atleast that is what I would think if you were my friend and that we were now on an honest level.I think your friend deserves the truth. She already knows your past and sence is from the past if she is a good friend she will relise you told her this to show your honesty and will be able to decern for herself if he can be trusted.

i think you should give her a "what if " sinerio and see how she responds to it, than make your decision

Tell her. I don't know why people insist on denying their past when it is what has made them who they are today. There could not have been any "life changing event" without going through the phase she did. Be open, be honest if you truly care about your friends future. Only by going in with both eyes open and accepting what has happened can she truly have the foundation for a lasting, loving relationship. Deceit and deception are the bane of love.