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A Dating Must: Test for Halitosis

Don't let bad breath put a stink on your romantic time

By Dr. Trina Read Updated: Jul 18, 2009
Hitchedmag.com
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Bad breath has ruined many a romantic and sexy mood. Yet, in the world of sex etiquette, who is responsible to take charge of said breath? Is it the smeller who is making an odor value judgment or the person with the halitosis?
Walking through Arrivals at the airport, I was greeted by a full on Hollywood kiss. Being a girl, I was really digging it and knew at once I must savor this moment because it doesn't happen often. As I heard the curious crowd "ooh and ah," I tried to let the tears forming in my eyes appear to not be so obvious.  When the embrace was done and I came up for air, I tried my best to refrain from gagging.
You see, my knight in shining armor's breath smelled (and tasted for that matter) like he'd consumed an entire bulb of garlic at supper. Being a pragmatic gal, I thought to myself;
“if you're going to plan such a grand romantic gesture, how can the teensy matter of breath be forgotten?”
if you're going to plan such a grand romantic gesture, how can the teensy matter of breath be forgotten? Even if it's a spur-of-the-moment inclination, in my world, it's common sense to pop a breath mint after supper and before having contact with other human beings.
Discussing With Others
In the girl form of locker room talk (a.k.a. having coffee), my friends and I recounted how we couldn't enjoy a romantic evening because our guy's breath was repulsive. In trying to remedy the situation, we shared what we thought were obvious hints, like offering him a stick of gum, sprig of parsley or whatever breath freshener was available. He still didn't get it. (Please note: I am certain men have their own halitosis gal challenges too.)
When I asked the others why they didn't just come out and tell him straight about the offending breath, a look of horror appeared on their face as they sputtered, "I just couldn't."
Biting my tongue and feeling a bit sheepish,
“I thought of how I would've rather chewed off my arm than confronted my garlic-loving prince at the airport”
I thought of how I would've rather chewed off my arm than confronted my garlic-loving prince at the airport.  My inner romantic girl voice screaming that if I told him, he'd become discouraged enough never to want to do something I relish.
Ruining the Moment
There are some things in this life that don't make much sense. Telling another human being they've got breath that could peel paint seems to be one of them. I decided to conduct an informal study-okay, so it was mostly friends and relatives that were within earshot while writing this article-on why it is so difficult to tell someone they've got bad breath. There was complete consensus on why: all didn't want to embarrass the other person, thereby breaking the romantic mood.
Let me get this straight. People don't say anything because they don't want to break up a romantic mood that's already completely destroyed. Hmmm.  Adding insult to injury, as soon as turtle breath is out of earshot the victim will go on about the other persons bad breath to anyone who will listen. It's like living in a Seinfeld episode.
Fresh Breath Fix
Coming back to my question of who should take charge of a bad breath situation, there are a couple of things to think about. First, ask yourself, "is the breath a one-off event (like the airport scene) or is it chronic?" If it's the latter, a trip to the dentist may be in order.
Next, ask if there's a laxness to the personal oral care regime. Think back to the start of a new relationship where many people silently crept out of bed at 5:00 a.m. to brush their teeth (or at least swipe toothpaste with their fingers over teeth) so their partner would wake-up and experience "toothpaste kisses."
“Today, outside of the work environment, is a second thought ever given to the quality of some ones breath?”
Today, outside of the work environment, is a second thought ever given to the quality of some ones breath? Or is it presumed your partner will love you regardless.
I have a theory that one of the reasons couples lose the "want" to passionately kiss each other after many years together is because they don't make such a fuss over the breath issue.
Good sex is all about preparation and the little things that make a big difference. If you want to get romantic and think you might have bad breath, simply lick the inside of your wrist and sniff. If you don't like what you smell, immediately do something to alleviate the situation.
If nothing else, make sure to keep a pack of breathe fresheners at your bedside table when things start heating up...so they can stay heated up.
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Leave a comment COMMENTS50 COMMENTS
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I once was in a relationship with a man who had breath that could have been used in chemical warfare. Whats funny is it got so bad I told him just that. Whats not so funny I never even noticed it until the relationship began to sour....so to speak.....
A Yahoo! Contributor
I agree 100% - I have had dates (w/female) that desperately needed a breath mint. It shatters the moment for sure. And I never say anything. One thing for everyone to remember - When offered a breath mint, never refuse it. They may be trying to tell you something.
A Yahoo! Contributor
There&#39;s a story about Michael J. Fox pulling away from Tracy Pollan on the set of Family Ties and cracking a (loud) joke about her garlic breath. She stormed away in a huff . . . but apparently made an effort to pop the Breath Assure from then on. You&#39;ve got to say something.
No Photo
If you want to kiss someone with good breath, then you start with good breath and set the stage for clean breath and sweet kisses!
A Yahoo! Contributor
It might be possible that the offending person might also have chronic congestion. This can lead to build up of mucus during sleeping periods. And when that person wakes up, whoa, watch out for the bad breath.
No Photo
i have a plutonic friend whose breath literally smelled like excrement....it was THAT bad.he knew it too b/c he would do things like; whenever he was in my car he would always talk to towards the window (which was opened enough to let the foul air out/fresh air in) or he would sit across the room and if he did happen to be beside me talking (like if we&#39;re standing up) he would always turn his head or talk with his back to me....mind you he is very very handsome, but there was no way i could/would get intimate with him...it was THAT repulsive....and i had gone to a girlfriend for advice and she told me that if i cared about him i would say something....b/c something THAT chronic (and it wasn&#39;t a one-timer....he had the bleeding gums and all...ick) would eventually affect his health in some way. so i did and he appreciated that fact that i came to him...apparently his dad had the same problem.....(i didn&#39;t think it could be something you inherited...i don&#39;t believe it is..)...but none the less that kind of problem needs professional help....which to this day he has YET gotten seen about it...so whomever he ends up with...well i&#39;m sorry but there&#39;s not enough love to just tolerate that kind of funk without saying SOMEthing...ick...i can&#39;t even imagine him licking on my body b/c it would smell like...well....poop.....ew....*shudders*
A Yahoo! Contributor
It was a deal breaker for me to marry my husband. I was so in love with him but his breath was not even human. He had bleeding gums and the blood was causing putrid breath. I told him in order for me to marry him he had to see a dentist and get the problem fixed. My dentist diagnosed him with severe gum disease (he called it trench mouth) and he was able to correct it. My husband had extreme dental fear from seeing a mean dentist as a child. So the deal breaker was deal with your mouth health or I don&#39;t marry you. If someone&#39;s breath smells THAT bad, there is an underlying problem. He dealt with it very quickly and we have now been married for 7 years.
A Yahoo! Contributor
I use to date this guy...his morning breath was like...death breath! I didn&#39;t know what to do, so I bought him a toothbrush for when he stayed over. Well, he told his friends...&quot;She like me so much, she bought me a toothbrush to keep at her place!!&quot; Things were not heading in that direction! lol Needless to say, we&#39;re not together today.
A Yahoo! Contributor
the quick fix is to keep few cardamons in ur purse or pocket,amazingly works wonders!!
A Yahoo! Contributor
The above replies mentioning oral/dental health are very true. However, as a colon therapist I can tell you from lots of experience that if a person&#39;s breath smells like excrement then that is really because they are - - for lack of a polite term - - full of s**t. Fecal matter pastes itself on in layers - - like wallpaper paste. when a person&#39;s colon is impacted with feces then their body becomes toxic and that smell also comes out in their breath. Think about it - -the mouth is just the other end of the ailmentary canal. So, along with suggesting a trip to the dentist, then you also need to suggest a complete internal cleanse.
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